let me preface this by saying that i am NOT harboring any bitterness or anger over this situation or towards this person/family. this doesn't deserve a blog, but, it's so interesting to me that i must share.
years and years and years ago, i was a part of a church here in the DC Metropolitian area where i served in a particular ministry under the direction of a very headstorng and arrogant woman. i became close to her and her husband and was made to feel part of their family. after roughly 2 years of being in this "family", things started to change. i'll just say that the relationship was beginning to feel the strain of what i perceived to be jealousy or protectiveness. LONG STORY SHORT...this lady and i developed a mildly stressed relationship. however, i was still respectable, as she was still my elder and i understood her position in the church. i don't know what caused the following reaction from her, but from out of nowhere, as i greeted her in the sanctuary one sunday, she said "the Lord requires that i love you but i do not have to like you". this was one of the last interactions that i had with her. being so young and unsure of who i was, i was hurt by this. not to mention that i had held her in such a high place of honor since i served under her ministry. i haven't communicated with her or her family in years. every now and then, i would get an invite to an event or something or a holiday greeting. well, this time, i got an instant message from her. this message came across my phone on jan. 27, via yahoo messenger. the message read something to the effect of "Mr. Booth, hope the new year brings you much success. haven't talked to you in a long time, give me a call as soon as you can. 301-blah blah blah-blah blah who cares". i just found it funny that she would send me a message out of the blue. after all of these years, what could we possibly have in common to talk about. i'm not in the least bit upset, although it may sound like it, but i just don't want to go down that road again. i am now an adult and i believe that she may perceive my confidence and self assurance as being disrespectful or threatening. and to avoid that, i just don't want to establish contact. looking back, those were years filled with so much pain and me being what they wanted me to be. while i'm curious as to what she wants, i don't think it's worth it to find out. i'm sure that with her busy life and everyone telling her how great she is and how great her ministry is, she will forget that she even contacted me. and if it's that important, she will try to contact me again...which i highly doubt.
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protective i can understand, but JEALOUSY????
ReplyDeletedid you know that she has been very ill; she was in John Hopkins, I think. it was some form of blood cancer. i saw her a couple of weeks ago; looked good and healthy; just missing hair.