Death to Hubcaps

cars with hubcaps should be banned! the federal government should impound all vehicles that have hubcaps and fine the owners of said vehicles. okay, maybe not. that may be a little to harsh of a punishment. but how else would you reprimand someone who almost caused an accident on friday night on a busy highway. as i was driving down the highway headed home, there's this stretch of road that has an aggressive dip before the bridge and then another one after you cross it. given that it's a three-lane highway, you can avoid the dip and the unnecessary wear and tear on your car's shocks by merging into your far right lane. seeing that i have a new vehicle, i take every precaution to protect her from damage (including parking 8 miles from the entrance of malls and shopping centers in order to prevent "dings" in my door from careless commuters). in keeping with my norm, i merged to the far right lane when all was clear in order to avoid the dips on and before this bridge. however, some cars choose to take the dips at full speed. traveling at about 80 mph, i hit the beginning of the bridge only to notice that there was something beginning to roll over into my lane in front of me at a very hich speed. at first it looked like a silver spray can, but then i realized that it was a runaway hubcap from the hooptie in the middle lane. to protect my precious, i slammed on the breaks and the hubcap went spiraling out of control back into the middle lane just missing my front bumper. as i sped up and passed the hooptie, i realized that the driver had no idea about what had happened. his freshly-washed and shined bucket is now riding with only 3 hubcaps.

now, i know what you're thinking...the one who could have caused the accident was me. and you're probably right. i was the one doing 80 in a 55 mph zone. i was the one who chose to slam on the breaks. but don't you think that the man in the hooptie is partly to blame as well? if it wasn't for his old car, i would not have had to hit my breaks! no? you're not buying it? well, it still doesn't change my opinion about the government impounding all cars with hubcaps. they are a menace to society an should be put to death (still talking about the hubcaps...not the owners)!